A mother who co-parents with her child’s father has taken to TikTok seeking advice after reportedly discovering that her child’s natural red ginger hair had been dyed purple by the father’s girlfriend. The mother, who identifies herself as Serenity in a video posted to the platform, expressed her dismay and confusion over the situation, particularly because she claims to have a long-standing rule about her child’s hair.
In the video, Serenity explains that she has consistently told her child since birth that her hair should not be touched until she turns 18. She emphasized the natural beauty of her child’s hair, noting that they had not even considered cutting it yet. The decision to dye the hair, she stated, was made without her knowledge or consent, leading her to seek help from the social media platform.
Serenity’s plea on TikTok was twofold: she asked for advice from hairstylists on how to remove the purple dye without damaging her child’s hair, and she sought guidance from other parents navigating co-parenting situations when significant decisions are made unilaterally. Her frustration was palpable as she concluded the video by directly addressing the situation, stating, “You touched her hair. Oh.” On-screen text in the video read, “WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!”
Co-parenting conflict arises over child’s hair alteration
The incident highlights a common point of contention in co-parenting arrangements: decisions regarding a child’s appearance when made by one parent or their partner without the other’s agreement. Serenity’s video suggests a perceived breach of trust and established boundaries, leading to her seeking external advice and support from the online community.
The mother’s concern appears to stem from a belief that her child’s hair is naturally beautiful and does not require chemical alteration, especially at a young age. She stated in the video that she has maintained since her child was born, “you’re not touching your hair until 18.” This sentiment indicates a deeply held personal belief about preserving her child’s natural features.
She further elaborated on her reasoning, saying, “Because if you’re smart, you know that that hair does not need to be tampered with.” This statement suggests that she believes the child’s hair is unique and delicate, and any intervention could be detrimental.
Turning to TikTok, Serenity specifically requested assistance from hairstylists. She asked, “How do I get this out of her hair without ruining her beautiful hair?” This question underscores her primary goal of rectifying the situation while prioritizing her child’s hair health.
Simultaneously, she addressed fellow co-parents, posing a direct question: “What the f–k do I do now? Because I was being nice before. Now I’m not.” This indicates a shift in her approach due to the incident, suggesting her previous willingness to be accommodating has been strained.
The video’s public caption added further context to Serenity’s emotional state, stating, “I’m just bamboozled at this point 😅 TIKTOK HAIR STYLISTS PLS HELP #hairtok #gingerhair #dyedhair #coparenting #helpme.” The hashtags indicate the specific communities she was hoping to reach for advice.
Comments from viewers on the video reflected a range of reactions, with many expressing solidarity with Serenity’s position. One commenter wrote, “The point has been missed… greatly. Doesn’t matter if she’s 17 or 5. Her mother said NO and someone overrode that. Not okay.” This comment suggests that the core issue, in their view, is the unilateral decision-making rather than the act of dyeing hair itself. This principle of overriding a parent’s decision extends beyond hair, as seen when a Goodwill employee fussed at a cousin for taking a 3-year-old to a private bathroom.
Another user stated, “Permanent changes must be approved by both parents!” This sentiment aligns with legal and ethical considerations often discussed in co-parenting contexts, emphasizing the need for joint decision-making on significant matters affecting a child.
The age of the child also became a point of discussion among commenters. One user noted, “Yall are talking about what does the child want… SHE’S FOUR,” implying that a four-year-old may not fully comprehend the implications of such a hair alteration or that parental consent is paramount regardless of the child’s wishes at that age.
However, some comments focused on the act of dyeing hair, with one user saying, “There’s nothing wrong with purple hair. There is a LOT wrong with the girlfriend dying your child’s hair without talking to you.” This perspective separates the aesthetic choice from the co-parenting protocol, highlighting the procedural breach as the primary concern. Another commenter humorously noted, “Girl, that dramatic pause. I thought his gf DIED.”
